Where Have All The Good Men Gone?

I am not a man-hater.

I preface everything I will ever say about men–now and in the future–with this tidbit: I am not a man-hater. I love men; absolutely adore them.

I could spend days detailing all of the physical, mental, and emotional nuances I find attractive–including the way men smell.

The natural scent of a man is very alluring to me. No, not the scent of unwashed-ass, but the natural scent every man has that marks him as a male. Perfumiers have attempted to duplicate the scent for centuries. They can’t. The smell of a man fresh from the shower or after a hard day’s work?  Quite simply… irresistible, indefinable and undeniably sexy.

The physical makeup of a man is beautiful. From the wisps of hair on their toes, the downy hair on their powerful thighs, the “heart” outline in their hips, to the love-line of hair trailing down their bellies…Magnifico! From the delineation of the breast bone between their pecs, to the slight protrusion of the adam’s apple, to the softness of the hair on their head–I love it all.

Mental weaknesses and strengths, emotional insecurities and confidences, the curiosities, needs, wants, desires, and the protective instincts. Simply captivating. I am incurably fascinated by men–how they think and how they speak. I love the calm, relaxed feeling I get from listening to the deep rumble of a man’s voice. I don’t care if he is beside me in bed or lecturing in an auditorium, a man’s voice will hypnotize me into complete relaxation.

I love watching a man with his mate and/or his children. So much goes on beneath the surface.  The focus of his attention on those he loves.  The unconscious posturing he projects outward toward possible threats from his environment.  The gentleness, the ferocity, the open love for what he has claimed.  The confidence of knowing he is master to his mistress, the pride in seeing himself in his children, the insecurity he feels at the thought of possible loss or failure.  All of these things and more, I love seeing in a man.

My male counterparts are just so interesting and complex and yet, so very, very simplistic.
So when I say I love men, I mean I love men!

And yet….what I do not love–and frankly cannot stomach–is the ever-increasing number of men who are overtly insecure, manipulative, conniving, lazy-assed, complaining, whining, sniveling, driveling, excuse-having, women-using, small-minded, petty, control freak little toads who have the fucking nerve to masquerade as men today. Those back-stabbing, bitch-made humanoids sporting a penis who feel the need to demean, undermine, and hurt women in order to feel empowered.

It’s like this new breed of man is some kind of disease.  And it’s spreading in uncontrollable and epic proportions.

Where have all the good men gone? Seriously. I mean, dude.  What.  The.  Hell?!?! I understand women are partly to blame for the evolution of man from the great hunter into the greatly breast-fed-during-college-and-beyond, but seriously. You’re a damn man. Stand up. Act like it. Get your ass out there and do your job! You know–that job you inherited along with the hoo hoo–the job of a man. Take some control. Show some fortitude, some loyalty (to anyone!). Stop whining about how women have taken over, taken your jobs, taken your manhood, wha-wha-wha. You sniveling little bitch babies. For the love of all that is Holy–grow a pair!

A-hem! Ummm….Hmm. Okay.
*Woosah, woo-sah, woooo-SAH!*

Did I mention I love men? I did mention this, right?