About Me

I find it hard to talk about myself. I never quite know what to say. So, owing to my love of bullet point and numbered lists, here ya go:

For some basic facts, let’s see…I am:

  1. Female
  2. In my 40’s. (Read as: I’m old enough that I’ve done a lot of shit, seen a lot of shit, and consequently, rarely care about shit people say).
  3. American Mutt.  Mostly White from Germany & Scotland but throw in some Native American & Black that have trickled down a bit.
  4. Single.  By choice though I believe in renting & borrowing from time to time.  Full-time men are just too much work.  I love you, but it’s true.  I’d be lesbian but women get on my damn nerves, too.
  5. Opinionated.  I’m female.  Of course I have an opinion about everything. 
  6. Intelligent.  Men:  I apologize in advance for this fact.  Women:  Might as well apologize to you, too, just to keep shit equal.
  7. Sarcastic. Only about 97% of the time though.  (Read as: You sensitive bitches got about a 3% chance that I’m not gonna make you cry).
  8. Annoying.  See #1 – #7.
  9. A retired detective.  (yes, I was a cop.  No, I don’t care about your “I hate all cops” shit.)
  10. Tall.  Six feet to be exact.  (I wanted a #10 & couldn’t think of anything else offhand). 

 

Whatever most people consider “normal?”  I’m not it.  I’ve been blessed (or cursed, depending upon your view) to have a wide range of experiences that make me see things just a little bit different than the average person would.  Some side items about me that contribute to my thoughts, views, and beliefs:

  • I am a people-watcher extraordinaire.  People fascinate me. 
  • My people were dirt poor.  We didn’t have electricity or running water until I was in my teens (no, we weren’t Amish).
  • I grew up on a “working farm” outside of a small town in the Midwest where there were only White folks.  “Working farm” means if we didn’t work, we didn’t eat.  Gardening, milk cows, butchering chickens–the whole nine. 
  • When I was seventeen, I bought myself a car, taught myself to drive (only wrecked twice!), and then lived in the car where I met all kinds of interesting people from all walks of life.
  • While living in the car I got a job at a factory where I met a woman who would become my best friend.  She opened her house to me and gave me a family.  We lived in “the ghetto” (a politically incorrect term, at present, when said by a White chick) in the inner city of a large Northern city where I was the only White dot in the hood.
  • A few years later, I moved from my “Hood” in the North down to the South where I became a cop.  An eye-opening experience in a plethora of ways, lemme tell ya!
  • Being a cop allowed me to do a few things I would not have had the opportunity to do otherwise, like, get a college degree & travel abroad.  I still travel abroad a lot–mostly Europe (FYI: it’s way cheaper to vacay there than it is in the US, believe it or not!).  
  • I retired from Cop World a few years back and now I pretty much just do and say what I want, when I want (which is why I’m starting this blog now! Ha!)
  • I have an extremely over-developed sense of humor.  99% of life just shouldn’t be taken seriously.  I can find humor in almost everything and, I laugh at some of the weirdest shit!
  • I’m very plain-spoken.  I actually end up stuttering if I try to censor my words to people.  It takes up a lot of energy.  Since I no longer have to worry about getting fired for being honest and saying what I think, I use that energy for other shit and now I just say what I mean!  (It’s very nice).
  • I have a low tolerance for bullshit.  These days, I find that most shit is bullshit. 
  • Some people think I’m an asshole–or bitch, depending upon which word pops into their mind first.  And I’m extremely traumatized by this opinion.  Really.
  • I am jaded and cynical.  Had you lived my life, you would be jaded and cynical, too.
  • My only real prejudices are against stupidity and people who are prejudiced against others.  I can’t fucking stand the whining, bitching, moaning, complaining, and/or blaming people do in lieu of getting off their asses and bettering themselves.