I find it hard to talk about myself. I never quite know what to say. So, owing to my love of bullet point and numbered lists, here ya go:
For some basic facts, let’s see…I am:
- In my 40’s. (Read as: I’m old enough that I’ve done a lot of shit, seen a lot of shit, and consequently, rarely care about shit people say).
- American Mutt. Mostly White from Germany & Scotland but throw in some Native American & Black that have trickled down a bit.
- Single. By choice though I believe in renting & borrowing from time to time. Full-time men are just too much work. I love you, but it’s true. I’d be lesbian but women get on my damn nerves, too.
- Opinionated. I’m female. Of course I have an opinion about everything.
- Intelligent. Men: I apologize in advance for this fact. Women: Might as well apologize to you, too, just to keep shit equal.
- Sarcastic. Only about 97% of the time though. (Read as: You sensitive bitches got about a 3% chance that I’m not gonna make you cry).
- Annoying. See #1 – #7.
- A retired detective. (yes, I was a cop. No, I don’t care about your “I hate all cops” shit.)
- Tall. Six feet to be exact. (I wanted a #10 & couldn’t think of anything else offhand).
Whatever most people consider “normal?” I’m not it. I’ve been blessed (or cursed, depending upon your view) to have a wide range of experiences that make me see things just a little bit different than the average person would. Some side items about me that contribute to my thoughts, views, and beliefs:
- I am a people-watcher extraordinaire. People fascinate me.
- My people were dirt poor. We didn’t have electricity or running water until I was in my teens (no, we weren’t Amish).
- I grew up on a “working farm” outside of a small town in the Midwest where there were only White folks. “Working farm” means if we didn’t work, we didn’t eat. Gardening, milk cows, butchering chickens–the whole nine.
- When I was seventeen, I bought myself a car, taught myself to drive (only wrecked twice!), and then lived in the car where I met all kinds of interesting people from all walks of life.
- While living in the car I got a job at a factory where I met a woman who would become my best friend. She opened her house to me and gave me a family. We lived in “the ghetto” (a politically incorrect term, at present, when said by a White chick) in the inner city of a large Northern city where I was the only White dot in the hood.
- A few years later, I moved from my “Hood” in the North down to the South where I became a cop. An eye-opening experience in a plethora of ways, lemme tell ya!
- Being a cop allowed me to do a few things I would not have had the opportunity to do otherwise, like, get a college degree & travel abroad. I still travel abroad a lot–mostly Europe (FYI: it’s way cheaper to vacay there than it is in the US, believe it or not!).
- I retired from Cop World a few years back and now I pretty much just do and say what I want, when I want (which is why I’m starting this blog now! Ha!)
- I have an extremely over-developed sense of humor. 99% of life just shouldn’t be taken seriously. I can find humor in almost everything and, I laugh at some of the weirdest shit!
- I’m very plain-spoken. I actually end up stuttering if I try to censor my words to people. It takes up a lot of energy. Since I no longer have to worry about getting fired for being honest and saying what I think, I use that energy for other shit and now I just say what I mean! (It’s very nice).
- I have a low tolerance for bullshit. These days, I find that most shit is bullshit.
- Some people think I’m an asshole–or bitch, depending upon which word pops into their mind first. And I’m extremely traumatized by this opinion. Really.
- I am jaded and cynical. Had you lived my life, you would be jaded and cynical, too.
- My only real prejudices are against stupidity and people who are prejudiced against others. I can’t fucking stand the whining, bitching, moaning, complaining, and/or blaming people do in lieu of getting off their asses and bettering themselves.